Where heart meets art: Finding the right resting place for a loved one

When Wellington woman Bridgit Sissons' beloved mum Barbara died in October 2023, she wanted to keep her ashes close in a beautiful vessel, but she couldn't find anything that she felt resembled her; simple, stylish and slightly unpredictable.

"Her dementia is sort of the insidious thing that kind of creeps up on you and you don't really realise how bad it is until people are really a shadow of their former ourselves," the founder of ceramic urn collections shop Vaso tells Nine to Noon.

"We sat with her for about two weeks and it was only in that very last stages of her life that we had any kind of conversation about what would happen next."

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Bar came from a Catholic family but her immediate family hadn't been part of the church for a long time, Sissons says. Her family decided the most fitting option would be cremation so they could either share Bar's ashes, spread them at her favourite locations or keep her close with them wherever they went.

But finding an urn that was fitting for Bar, who loved art and design, was difficult. She remained in a green plastic box provided by the funeral home for a while.

"I really wanted to create something and to find something for her that was really sculptural and beautiful, and something that she would be happy to rest in for forever and also, selfishly, that I would like to have sitting in our home, that would make me smile and think about her every time I walked past it or looked at."

While looking through art and ceramic galleries, Sissons stumbled on the work of New Zealand-born potter Craig Spencer.

"I emailed him directly and asked if he had anything suitable, but there was really nothing big enough because ashes actually take out quite a lot of space. But he replied with this beautiful e-mail about death and grief and it really just struck a chord with me."

Taking stock of the profound impact her mother had on her, Sissons realised her corporate career was not making her feel good or happy.

"I kept coming back to this idea of making something beautiful that mum could rest in for eternity. I also really felt quite strongly that if I had this need then there were probably thousands of other people like me, who would like the same thing and were feeling equally frustrated about not being able to find the thing that really suited their loved one."

She went on to launch Vaso in February, a collection of handcrafted cremation urns for humans and pets in a collaboration with Spencer. Sissons plans to work with different local artists on limited edition runs.

"Her [Bar's] death has left a really enormous hole in my life and I think that's why the Vaso journey kind of seems so important to me now, because I feel like it's a really amazing way for me to be able to honour her and to keep her with me in my life in a very real and beautiful way.

"I want to be able to offer other people that same kind of sense of connection with their loved ones. For me, that's through art and through having something that is beautiful and sculptural that sits with us and as part of our kind of daily life."