'What are the stories you're telling yourself?' - empowering women to lead in a system designed for men

When it comes to rigid gender norms, patriarchy traps both women and men, says Megan Dalla-Camina, but women in positions of authority pay a much higher personal price than their male counterparts.

After 18 years as a high-level corporate executive, Dalla-Camina now helps other women navigate the external and internal forces that are holding them back in the workplace.

"How do you do work that you're passionate about, have a personal life that's fulfilling, and be well in the process? That's become a massive part of my life's work," she tells Saturday Morning.

Still doing the lion's share of housework and child-related tasks and often spending the vast majority of their time taking care of everybody else, women have much higher rates of burnout than men, Dalla-Camina says.

She now sees that her own burnout - as a single parent and corporate executive in her mid-30s - stemmed from the mental exhaustion of trying to fit herself into "places and spaces that weren't designed for me".

Via training courses with her leadership enterprise Women Rising, and in her new book of the same name, Dalla-Camina now encourages other high-performing women to commit to their own well-being.

This could be more sleep, going for walks, meditating, or doing whatever else makes you feel like you're "not just dragging yourself through the day, picking everything up for everybody else," she says.

"We don't want you burnt out. We want you thriving."

To move towards self-empowerment, Dalla-Camina recommends that women take a good look at the culture and dynamics of their workplace.

There are often many forms of gender biases at play, she says. The biggest, yet "very hidden" one is maternal bias, in which women are viewed as "less capable" and "not serious about their career" when they become mothers.

Dalla-Camina also suggests getting acquainted with:

The "inner language" of women who have internalised patriarchy is rife with imposter syndrome, perfectionism and people-pleasing, says Dalla-Camina, who also hosts the podcast Notes of Encouragement.

She recommends starting to question the inner critic - or "inner patriarch" - whose critical narratives are keeping you stuck.

"That work can really start to unlock our confidence, our purpose and just our sense of contentedness and happiness of who we are and how we're living our lives".

Many women constantly try to be who and what other people want them to be, Dalla-Camina says, but it's important to ask what you want for yourself.

"Get really clear about your life vision and where you find meaning and purpose, and start to craft that."

Look at what is getting in the way of your confidence, defined by Dalla-Camina as "your ability to turn your thoughts into action".

"What are the actions that you're not taking, and what are the stories that you're telling yourself that are stopping you from doing that?

"Focus on that, and that will really help you start to move forward in the direction you want to go, rather than feeling like you are stuck or that you don't have the capability, the capacity, the support or the clarity to go and do those things".

Many busy women postpone this kind of challenging self-enquiry for a certain future "moment" that never comes, Dalla-Camina says.

"We've got to put [connection with ourselves] into the spaces in between and break it down into such a small way that it becomes doable, and it doesn't freak us out in the process.

"Find the moments in between the busyness to just have something for yourself… Close your eyes and breathe for two minutes. It will change everything when you do that enough times throughout your day."